WAITING...One year on and still waiting
Not for a man, but on God. When you go down on your knees praying and trusting God for a certain thing, there is always that one time when you believe with all your heart that this time, am getting a YES. And you keep trusting for that YES until it gets to one month...still praying... still believing and still waiting... for the YES. Who wants to be told NO? Who wants to wait? Countless of times I have been told, and I have also told people to wait on God. He knows best. He knows the beginning from the end, and His timing is always right. Though I believe this 100%, trust me, it's easier said than done. Because waiting I have, but this time, I have had to wait for one year.. and am still waiting. Hoping(hope never disappoints-Romans 5:5) that my wait will come to and end. and  my reward, the YES I have been longing to hear for one year now. I have no understanding in God's ways, and even if I tried to understand His ways, I wouldn't make it. But all I ask for, is patience and trust. Trust that God is in control. I have said a lot of times that I trust Him, but it gets to a point when I question my trust. If I trust Him 100% there would be no plan B's ( I have plan B's-Z all the time). That's the level I want to get with Him. When it's plan A or plan A. How I get to this level of trust with him, I don't know, I have no plan, but His grace is sufficient. For now, I will keep waiting on Him..and just wait. Till I get the YES.

letter to dad

You know dad,today I was going through my phone contacts and I came across your number and it dawned on me how selfish I have been because for the last three months I haven't called to see how you are doing. so I dialed your number to talk to you but it didn't go through. It was off. And I know why it was off. It is because right now it has no owner. I know that you are the owner but you are no longer there to put it on and to receive our calls. It's because some time back God called you to total rest. To dance with the angels as you become one of them. You know dad I didn't tell you this but before you left us I had tried calling you and you didn't pick up. That day I had called to just say hi and to appreciate you for being an amazing dad. I then came to learn that you were in hospital and before I knew it, you were no more. That is why I have decided that I will do everything I want to do now. I won't wait to do it after three hours or another day. I will do it now so that I can have peace . I had thought about calling you the previous day to appreciate you but I decided to postpone and that caused me. So dad today I want you to know that I miss you, that I love you and that I appreciate you. 

You know dad, am graduating in August. I thought you would be there so that I have a photo moment with you. In my gown. I know how much that would have made you happy. The look in your eyes whenever you are proud of us is one look that I always look forward to. But I know you will be happy. You will be very proud of me. You should know that I had so many plans for my graduation party. I even knew what I would ask you for a gift. But you will miss all that. But don't worry dad, you are in a better place now. A place of no worry or sorrow. That is what you deserve dad. you don't need to worry no more because all your life you have been worried on our behalf. So rest daddy. And learn new dance moves as you dance with the angels.

your loving daughter, Joy